So this is a picture of Sydney from 2008. The reason I pulled this picture out is because this is the smile we're used to. So, not that we haven't seen this smile in the last four years, but it had been a couple of weeks at least. So the six-going on-seven year old had to make a trip to the doctor to find out what was wrong. She also had some sort of hot-flash issue where her head was hot and her body was cold, which made me immediately think that combined with the lethargy she could only have one thing: Brain Cancer. I was sure of it. The only positive thing about this was that at least before the end, we would be able to meet her hero, Derrick Rose of the Chicago Bulls. Okay, so maybe it's not her hero, but I'll be goddamned if I'm going to lose a child AND not get to meet Derrick Rose out of the deal either. Seriously though, her hero would probably have been someone stupid like Drake or Josh or Spongebob, and seeing as Drake and Josh are stupid, and Spongebob is a cartoon character with the inability to appear in person without being a sex offender in a costume made of foam rubber, these choices would be unacceptable. But I digress. Onto the enema.
So the Doctor pushes on her stomach, somehow feels poop, and says "She's full of poop." So now we have to give her the old enema. You can hear how that all went below in the
first few minutes of Episode 2 of the show, so I'll just fast forward to the results. My God. You'd think the girl had been given Fruit Loops with cocaine. This happy creature you see above you is back. She's running her mouth without making any sense, as if she's on The View, she's drawing pictures, she's dancing...the transformation is as drastic as when Khloe Kardashian puts on makeup. It's unreal. It's great to have our crazy insane daughter back. There's only one negative...she's still got one more day of the enema to go. Imagine, filled with that much poop where you have to get flushed out three days in a row. Is that what one of those "colon cleanse" procedures is all about? Because if so, after seeing her response and how happy she is, I may hit Group On to see if I can find a 50% off deal for a good ol' fashioned colon cleanse. Either that or do it myself the natural way, with a drinking straw, a squirt bottle and a bowl of chicken noodle soup.
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